Our Bodies are Capable of Great Delight: Interview with Author Joan Price

We were lucky to connect with the fabulous Joan Price, award winning author and speaker who is shattering taboos on sexuality for the 50 + population. To make the necessary change, first one must shed society's twisted view that we have to be young and firm and unwrinkled to be desirable — and that change starts with you! Enjoy her refreshing and much needed perspective.

Will you tell us a little bit about your experiences that led you to become an advocate for ageless sexuality?

I tell the story in my first senior sex book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. In a nutshell, I fell in love at age 57 with a man who was 64, and we were having such great sex that I couldn’t believe that this was such a well-kept secret in our society. So I set out to remedy that! Now, after three self-help books about senior sex and one anthology of senior erotica, I’m seen as the spokesperson for ageless sexuality. My “Naked at Our Age” blog has been going since 2005! I love my work!

How can women increase their confidence about feeling sexy especially when they may have internalized societal representations of 'sexy' as youthful, thin, etc? What do you recommend saying to a woman who expresses sentiment like 'I really want to have sex again, but I don't want anyone to see me naked'?

This is a big issue. We have to “just say no” to society’s twisted view that we have be young and firm and unwrinkled to be desirable – and that means changing our own attitude, too. Our bodies are capable of great delight and pleasure for both our partners and ourselves. If we can let loose of the outdated idea of what our bodies need to look like, we’ll enjoy them much more – and so will our partners. We judge ourselves far more harshly than any partner will. For more, read my blog post titled “Things You’ll Never Hear Him Say When He Sees You Naked.”

What are your top three suggestions for ways women over 50 can 'get their mojo back' in the bedroom?

1. Have sexual pleasure with yourself or another at least once a week to stay in the habit and make arousal easier. Take LOTS of time for mood-setting, arousal, and pleasure. (I know, that’s really two tips, but they’re entwined.)

2. Incorporate sex toys into your solo or partnered sex sessions. As I often say: at our age, a well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between an orgasm or no orgasm – it’s sometimes that simple. I review sex toys from a senior perspective on my “Naked at Our Age”blog, in case you need some suggestions.

3. Educate yourself. There are some really helpful books out there – such as my The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life – and in it, I give additional resources. It’s important for us to know how the aging process affects our bodies, minds, and relationships, and what we can do when the old ways don’t work the way they used to.

What are some tips for having hot sex after age 60?

1. Slo-o-o-w-w down. It takes longer for women to warm up, and this intensifies as we get older. Men who used to count on automatic arousal also need more stimulation after midlife. Make the warm-up phase of sex play last hours... or days.

2. Appreciate, decorate, and celebrate your body. Jewelry, lingerie, feathers, fringe, silk, velvet, candlelight--whatever looks good and feels good. If you know you look sexy, you’ll feel sexy.  

3. Have sex during high energy times, when your arousal is strongest, whether solo or partnered. Increase your energy with exercise before sex, which increases blood flow to your genitals (as well as to everywhere else), making arousal easier and faster.

(See more tips on Joan’s blog here.)

Why is it important for women to discuss safe sex with their partner?

I’m really glad to see that you emphasize safer sex at divorceafter50! The rate of STIs (sexually transmitted infections) is high and growing every year because so many of us are having unprotected sex. I have a whole chapter on this in The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, including how to have the safer sex conversation. This is crucial. Anyone who is willing to have unprotected sex with you also had unprotected sex with the last partners, who had it with their other partners, and so on. Do you really want to be having sex with all these strangers?